Self Portrait, May 27, 2019

We are returning to fire ~ R.J. Parker, 1974

Diaries, derring-do and dusty shelves

Like my father before me (who would have been 90 on Saturday), I am an “archivist.”

I recall the moment this dawned upon me, sitting around a campfire in the Purcell Mountains. It was something about the embers and the alchemy of fire that seemed to illuminate my life.

I was surrounded by men and women of action — mountaineers, adventurers and outlaws — whose company I hoped might rank me among pioneers. But the flames reminded me that I was an outsider, an observer and diarist … that I would ultimately move on, to another campfire in another valley or a hearth in the city where I might “organize my papers.”

And so, decades later, I’m preparing for another move (the second in 3-years) and, again, it’s time to face the archive.

Over the last few weeks (we got a long closing date) I’ve been slowly packing up my office, along with the rest of the house. That has, of course, included many large cases of framed art — my photographs and the rest. Some boxes, containing old manuscripts, magazine articles and newspaper columns, drafts of (unpublished) books, are largely unopened since the last move, three-years-ago. I have half-a-dozen boxes of research materials from my writing days (as in when I made money from my scribbles) stored under the stairs.

Ashes to ashes

Having burnt out the shredders in both mine and my wife’s offices, late last week I invested in an industrial-strength model which has speeded up the purge immensely. Like the hot embers of a fire, rising into the night sky, this new machine transforms the dross of my history into light and fluffy confetti. Perhaps it can be reconstituted into something useful down the line.

I’ve freed up gigabytes of noughts and ones on my hard drives. Next comes the negative cabinet.

Finally, despite making a self-portrait out of the maxim (used widely as my avatar), today I’m not sure if a picture really is worth a thousand words, but this aging artist is now certain that action speaks louder than words.